Real Cleavage Conquers at the Red Dress Run

It goes without saying, I'd be voted "best cleavage" but now it's official thanks to the TCRC Red Dress Run. Because of Brendan Flynn's keen eye; a monsoon rainstorm that swept through during the race and enhanced our anatomical assets; and the fact that real is always better than fake (take that, Tim Rent), I wrung out my 10-pound red dress, edged out some big-boobed men and came home with the honors. No more Ms. Congeniality for me.

Categories included: first frock male & female; finest frock, most cleverly coordinated ensemble, most congenial, most creative coiffure (Reynolds), greatest gams and most sensitive male. Pick your main asset! (Assistant editor's note: what, no "best nails"?)

Bob "Kimono Mini" Congdon, thongless yet slinky Joe Reynolds, and Jim "Kathie Lee Casual" Miner, and I all represented the FLRC at the 3rd annual Red Dress Run June 21 at Maine-Endwell HS. Proceeds benefited the Crime Victims Assistance Center.

Just as we started the run around a very hilly, residential course, lightning and thunder rolled in and a major wind and rain storm hit full blast. But away we went, before the timers could say go. At some points, it was tough just to see the road ahead of us, as we slushed through ankle-deep water. (Just like our trail runs.) Shelly Reynolds drove the car around the route, and picked up innocent children and cowards.

It's good to see how secure and in touch with their femininity some men are when it comes to dressing up. See you next year, so start combing the Salvation Army for the perfect frock.

-- Diane Sherrer